NOW U DEFINITELY HAVE AN IDEA WHY WE CANT BE! If Kent sees this he'll definitely know its him! I am talking with him right now and he knows I'm blogging...and... God I miss him! I wanna hug him right this minute..
" He said I just called because..."
I said " what.."
He answered " Never mind its useless anyway...nothing would happen...!"
Hay lord!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
its been a while since i've written anything. A lot has happened and I do not exactly know how to start writing.. Words would never come out maybe because whatever I had been feeling the last couple of days are beyond words. Yah rumors had spread in the office about me and kent.. everytime I would talk to kent, I feel everyone staring at us. He told me that someone did saw us holding hands. And I was so worried but he took it all away by making me smile despite of everything. Once I was explaining things to him...He looked around and he held my hand. It was such a sweet gesture that I could feel blood rushing through my face. At one time he drop me off at the bus station.. he said goodbye and he held my hand.. everyday I keep on missing him. Everyday I keep on falling for him. I would always catch him staring at me and just like always, everytime I catch him doing so he would smile. And I feel weak everytime I see that smile. Everyday God has made he would text me "haay..." and as often as he does that I would ask him why and he told me " basta..." I had a feeling we were both having a very difficult time trying to keep things to ourselves. Trying to pretend that we were not falling for each other. But hey who are we fooling?! As always, I never wanna assume. I waited for him to tell me something. I know deep in my heart that both of us cant be "us". But someone has to say something so that we would both wake up from such a surreal dream. It is so romantic and its so kilig that its just like a dream.. A dream that I dont wanna wake up from.
We kept this so called relationship to ourselves. We just look each other in the eyes and we know definitely what we are talking about. We kept this on for days and weeks and I was definitely in love with him. Last weekend, I was down with flu and we were texting each other sweet stuff. It was late at night and when he finally blew it off my face. He told me things were really getting complicated and that He dosnt want me to cry. It pains him to see me hard at our so-called relationship. I told him :
" If you think everything is complicated and you are having a hard time, we could actually stop"
He replied, " do you want me to stop?"
" I do not want you to stop but if i pains you this much, if it pains us this much maybe we ought to let go"
" I am falling in love with you and I am afraid that one day, I will just hurt you and make you cry"
We texted each other with this tone of conversation for the next hours. We slept at the wee hours of the morning. I was crying and I was really hurt and so was he. I do not know at this point what really was going on between us...I am definitely in so much pain and I do not know where to pick up the pieces. I had fallen so much in love with him and I am at a lost right now. He made sure I was okay and asked me to promise him that I will not cry. How can you expect me to do just that?
On monday that week, we saw each other and he was still extra sweet. He made me smile. He told me he doesn't want me to feel bad or sad. He wants to make me happy. While everyone else was gone... He looked at me and held my hand. I wanted to hug him and cry but I kept my promise. I do not have enough reason to let him know how hurt I was. I loved him beyond my expectations. I am missing him...so bad...
We kept this so called relationship to ourselves. We just look each other in the eyes and we know definitely what we are talking about. We kept this on for days and weeks and I was definitely in love with him. Last weekend, I was down with flu and we were texting each other sweet stuff. It was late at night and when he finally blew it off my face. He told me things were really getting complicated and that He dosnt want me to cry. It pains him to see me hard at our so-called relationship. I told him :
" If you think everything is complicated and you are having a hard time, we could actually stop"
He replied, " do you want me to stop?"
" I do not want you to stop but if i pains you this much, if it pains us this much maybe we ought to let go"
" I am falling in love with you and I am afraid that one day, I will just hurt you and make you cry"
We texted each other with this tone of conversation for the next hours. We slept at the wee hours of the morning. I was crying and I was really hurt and so was he. I do not know at this point what really was going on between us...I am definitely in so much pain and I do not know where to pick up the pieces. I had fallen so much in love with him and I am at a lost right now. He made sure I was okay and asked me to promise him that I will not cry. How can you expect me to do just that?
On monday that week, we saw each other and he was still extra sweet. He made me smile. He told me he doesn't want me to feel bad or sad. He wants to make me happy. While everyone else was gone... He looked at me and held my hand. I wanted to hug him and cry but I kept my promise. I do not have enough reason to let him know how hurt I was. I loved him beyond my expectations. I am missing him...so bad...
Monday, August 4, 2008
my sleeping angel!
Friday was the designated day for office outing and gimik. Last friday we thought of all spending the night somewhere for our monthly friday office party. We had food, drinks and music, the perfect recipe for the perfect office party. Almost everyone was there though it wasn't really compulsory...well its just for singles, though not impliedly but thats what always happen. We ate and drank till everyone was tipsy... But I wasn't. I wanted to but I just wasn't in the mood to get sooo...drunk. I didn't know why, but I wanted to be sober for the rest of the day. Everyone was definitely having so much fun...including kent. He was dancing and laughing with everyone. He kept on looking at me but I was sober enough to keep my distance. Of course, I didn't want to be n the headlines come monday at the office.
In the wee hours of the morning, kent, the official treasurer
and me the only sober person who can still drive went out to buy more drinks. While in the car, he kept on looking at me and smiling.He had his hands on my cheeks. I was afraid that he would kiss me...but he didn't (okay i was quite paranoid that night!) He was definitely extra sweet to me in the car. When we came back he made sure he never leaves my side...(kahit san ako napunta ayun..bumubuntot!) Finally I got tired of running away from him...I sat down on the sofa. He sat down beside me. He kept on asking me to dance but i politely said no. I hope I didn't
hurt his feelings! We just made small talk and later on i already felt him holding my hands. He was looking into my eyes while making kwento and yah..I was holding his hands too...Heehehehe. How could I say no? hay!!!! We stopped talking and just kept quiet for a while. He rested his head on my shoulder and he kept on kissing my shoulder... I saw one of our officemates watching us. I removed my hands from his and he just laughed and again put his head back on my shoulders. Of course he was kinda drunk to notice. When everyone else already found their place to sleep, I looked at kent and he was like an angel sleeping on my shoulders... Such a beautiful angel... He might have felt me staring at him. He looked at me, kissed my shoulder, held my hand and went back to sleep...hmmmm... that was sweet... So u think i could sleep?! I cannot! I just watched the beautiful angel sleeping next to me...such a beautiful face. I wanted to freeze that perfect romantic moment forever... But everyone started getting up. I got up too and left him sleeping there on the sofa. I was still watching him sleep from across the room. He woke up look around him like he was looking for something. Then he saw me across the room, He smiled at me and I just smiled at him and walked away.
When everyone was preparing to leave, he looked at me and smiled and caressed my back. I knew that some people saw it. I acted like I didn't care. He left ahead of me and my boss. We had our eyes locked like we were talking in some language that only both of us understands. I smiled and then he nodded and left.
Later that day, he texted me " Of course I remembered falling asleep holding your hands." Whew that brought me to heaven. All along I was thinking he was just drunk. Too drunk to even remember his sweet gestures. But I guess he was still sober enough to remember the romantic details.
A perfect day spent with my perfectly charming angel... hay! (I still can't sleep to this day! That moment kept on playing on my mind over and over and over and over...)
In the wee hours of the morning, kent, the official treasurer
and me the only sober person who can still drive went out to buy more drinks. While in the car, he kept on looking at me and smiling.He had his hands on my cheeks. I was afraid that he would kiss me...but he didn't (okay i was quite paranoid that night!) He was definitely extra sweet to me in the car. When we came back he made sure he never leaves my side...(kahit san ako napunta ayun..bumubuntot!) Finally I got tired of running away from him...I sat down on the sofa. He sat down beside me. He kept on asking me to dance but i politely said no. I hope I didn't
hurt his feelings! We just made small talk and later on i already felt him holding my hands. He was looking into my eyes while making kwento and yah..I was holding his hands too...Heehehehe. How could I say no? hay!!!! We stopped talking and just kept quiet for a while. He rested his head on my shoulder and he kept on kissing my shoulder... I saw one of our officemates watching us. I removed my hands from his and he just laughed and again put his head back on my shoulders. Of course he was kinda drunk to notice. When everyone else already found their place to sleep, I looked at kent and he was like an angel sleeping on my shoulders... Such a beautiful angel... He might have felt me staring at him. He looked at me, kissed my shoulder, held my hand and went back to sleep...hmmmm... that was sweet... So u think i could sleep?! I cannot! I just watched the beautiful angel sleeping next to me...such a beautiful face. I wanted to freeze that perfect romantic moment forever... But everyone started getting up. I got up too and left him sleeping there on the sofa. I was still watching him sleep from across the room. He woke up look around him like he was looking for something. Then he saw me across the room, He smiled at me and I just smiled at him and walked away.When everyone was preparing to leave, he looked at me and smiled and caressed my back. I knew that some people saw it. I acted like I didn't care. He left ahead of me and my boss. We had our eyes locked like we were talking in some language that only both of us understands. I smiled and then he nodded and left.
Later that day, he texted me " Of course I remembered falling asleep holding your hands." Whew that brought me to heaven. All along I was thinking he was just drunk. Too drunk to even remember his sweet gestures. But I guess he was still sober enough to remember the romantic details.
A perfect day spent with my perfectly charming angel... hay! (I still can't sleep to this day! That moment kept on playing on my mind over and over and over and over...)
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Sweet things!
hay.. i still am floating! I need someone to pull me down back to earth!!! Damn this feeling... I was awake for more than 24 hours yet i cant sleep. I cant even find the right words to start this entry on my blog. Let me shake of this feeling for a while!
I'll write all bout this tomorrow.. I cant find myself to write anything yet about what transpired last friday! Goodness.. All i know is I love what I am feeling right now... It is so damn wrong I know.. yet I feel so damn right!!!
Byers!!!
I'll write all bout this tomorrow.. I cant find myself to write anything yet about what transpired last friday! Goodness.. All i know is I love what I am feeling right now... It is so damn wrong I know.. yet I feel so damn right!!!
Byers!!!
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