IT HAS BEEN A WHILE..

Hi there.. its been quite a while since my last entry to this blog. Definitely a lot has happened and a lot of questions has already popped up. Things are getting more complicated and yet it makes me happier by the day. We already dated a couple of times and He already kissed me a couple of times. But, yah i know what your thinking...are we already a couple? No definitely we are not but we enjoy each others company. He means so much to me and he makes me happy despite the pressures of work. He definitely lights up my days..

As much as I wanted myself to stop this stupidity...I can't. I thought at some point he would stop, but he wouldn't. He would even go to the extent of telling me or informing me that he couldn't text me on a particular day because he has no load for his other phone meant for me. I do not exactly know if he has other numbers but he told me he uses the number only for me and loads up only because he needs to text me.

So many times I really wanted to stop..to just start believing that we can never be. But you know what, everytime I do that I find myself falling deeper in love with him. Sometimes, I can't read his mind. There was one time, I was supposed to leave for an out of town trip. He knows I was leaving and yet he didn't know at what time. I was already halfway thru with my travel when he asked me where I was. When I told him I was nearing my destination he asked me why i didn't tell him i already left. Well, I answered back, do i have to tell you..and he sounded sad that I said it. That left me thinking. Was I really supposed to?

He drops me off at the bus station almost everytime I visit their office (well he got transferred to another office..less than an hour away from my office) and he kisses me everytime we say goodbye. We have had lunch dates and dinner dates yet we never really talked about us. He holds my hand and treats me like im his everything everytime we are together.He never misses a night without texting me. If he is just playing with my feelings he wouldnt do anything of this. Is it possible that maybe he has feelings for me? Like the way that I feel about him? I never text him first, I do not want him to know that I am so into him. He always and never fails to do that though, to text me. I may not be his everything but i know that I am the last person he thinks of at the end of the day.

Im definitely not a mind reader...and I definitely got a gazillion of questions that needs to be answered. Yet I am afraid to ask him. I am not ready for whatever his answers may be. The last time we talked, more than months ago, we promised each other that we will not fall in love with each other. But here I am, not being able to keep that promise not knowing how he feels about me.